Keep the government out of my wallet and in my pants, inconsistent Republicans say

The past year and a half has really been entertaining. The far right-wing of the Republican party, the Teabaggers, got everyone all up in a tizzy and found themselves influencing the 2010 elections, as if they knew anything about any issue. They ousted a lot of Democrats by campaigning on no more than austerity – which has worked out just so well for Europe – but once they got in office, they switched gears and started passing laws that told women they were too stupid to know what abortion entailed, which I presume was also their basis for repealing laws which said women deserve equal pay for equal work as compared to men. Apparently the government has no place in the wallets of Teabaggers – unless we’re talking about Medicare and Social Security – but it should have everything to do with the uterus of a woman. But worry not! The GOP is turning over a new leaf. That’s right. Now they’re going after the genitals of boys and girls – particularly before they even get stimulated:

[Tennessee] legislation banning teachers from promoting or condoning “gateway sexual activity” is headed to the governor’s desk after approval by the state House of Representatives on Friday.

The bill, which passed the full Senate earlier this month, would require all state sexual education classes to “exclusively and emphatically” promote abstinence while banning teachers from promoting any form of “gateway sexual activity.” The latter term, which has garnered national media attention and been lampooned by comedian Stephen Colbert, is not specifically defined in the bill.

The vote was 68-23, with all but one Republican for it.

In other news, Republicans in 14 states have passed bills which mandate books be carried by boys at all times and that the temperature in school building is to never dip below 72. GOP leaders said boys need to carry the books, especially around the age of 11, because time has proven that to be one of the most effective ways of covering up a poorly-timed erection. As for the temperature, one house member said, “We don’t want girls getting cold and pointing their thingies at the boys. Those books are there for emergencies, not leisure.”

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