That asshole dad, Tommy Jordan

Remember that asshole dad everyone loved? He was the guy who managed to access his teenage daughter’s private Facebook page, read a post where she complained about him and her mother, then he took her computer and shot it to show her the value of a dollar or something. Well, I came across my post about him (linked above) the other night when I was meandering around FTSOS, so I decided to send him a message on Facebook. This was something I wanted to do a month or two after the hoopla died down, but I forgot, so here it is now. First is my initial message:

Now that the hoopla around your video is more or less gone, I want to make a few points.

1. You didn’t like that your daughter embarrassed you on Facebook. So what did you do? You embarrassed her on Facebook (and beyond). First, that’s overtly hypocritical. Second, it demonstrates a greater immaturity than your daughter did. Third, the embarrassment a high school student gets from something like this is more significant than the embarrassment you suffered. How many of your friends mocked or would have mocked you upon seeing your daughter’s post? I bet none. How many of her friends do you think mocked her?

2. You were clearly motivated to improve your daughter’s attitude, but you were also motivated by revenge. That’s petty and immature, and it’s the only reason you sought to embarrass her. Sit her down next time and talk. You’re suppose to be the adult.

3. In an interview you said you wanted to teach your daughter the value of a dollar. I find this fascinating since you clearly don’t have a clear concept of what wealth even is. If you did, you wouldn’t have destroyed a thousand dollar machine into which you just invested $130. You may as well have sold the computer and burned the cash you got from it. It’s exactly the same thing – YOU destroyed wealth. Your actions betray a deep misunderstanding of the “value of a dollar”.

I think these are all pretty strong points. He did seek to embarrass her, he was clearly motivated by some petty feelings of revenge, and he did ironically destroy wealth. Here’s his response:

Hey dipshit.. it’s been a year and a half. No one cares what your opinion of me is, especially me. There is a very short list of people whose opinion matter to me or my family. Let me consult my list to be sure… yup, just as I thought, your name isn’t on it.

Go stalk someone else, idiot. If you insist on feeling like you want to hurl your opinion around to people that will listen, I suggest you use your own wall, not my inbox. I’ve got better things to do.

What a class act, huh? Name-calling, accusations of a serious crime, and, well, more name-calling. Here’s my response:

Oh, I’m glad you ‘consulted your list’. I was worried you were going to be witty.

My opinion clearly matters to you enough to get you riled up, prompting you to respond. So you lose that point.

As for who the “dipshit” is, Tom, I’m not the one who wanted to teach my daughter the value of a dollar by destroying a thousand dollar machine. You did that, and all because you aren’t very clear on the concept of what “wealth” is. So you lose the “dipshit” point.

And as for who the “stalker” is, if your definition of stalking is so loose as to include people talking to each other, then I’m surprised you haven’t turned yourself into the authorities for your more egregious stalking. After all, you’re the one who invaded his daughter’s private Facebook wall. (What would your defense be? Insecurity? Were you afraid of being embarrassed in front of your daughter’s high school friends?) And so you lose yet another point.

Unsurprisingly, that appears to be the end of the exchange, but it turned out better than I had thought. I figured he wouldn’t even see my post for months since it went to his “Other” inbox on Facebook, then I figured even if he did see it, he wouldn’t respond. But I’m glad that he read what I had to say. He has clearly been fellated to heaven with praise for his immature, asshole-ish behavior; I doubt he’s received very much criticism at all. It’s just too bad that there are probably a boatload of people out there willing to do the same sort of childish garbage-parenting he practices.

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17 Responses

  1. This is beyond awesome! I am so glad you did this. It’s probably something I should be paying more attention to. When you think about it the old always sort of have a go at the young for not having the values that they had, for not being as respectful and moral, etc. For all that high-minded talk society was not really any better, but I think one could make a lot of arguments that it was worth. So this generation of parents may complain about youth using public forums to display poor attitudes, but they seem to be doing the same thing. I’ve seen so many memes spread around by parents that seem to proudly say things like “such and such behavior would have earned me a spanking, that’s how I learned respect” or “share if you believed that you should respect your elders” etc. Ultimately if you find your kids disrespectful it’s most likely your own fault. At the very least kids make mistakes, rebel, test their power in the world regardless of generation and this is a normal thing. I think his response proves beyond a shadow of a doubt why she had a problem with him and why she did not feel comfortable coming to him directly instead of talking about it on Facebook. She was probably looking for sympathy and support instead of judgment and condemnation which he seems willing to dole out in abundance.

  2. I don’t know about posting a youtube video or wasting expensive hollow-point .45 rounds, but the kid definitely needed an attitude adjustment. A father finding bitchy rant on his daughter’s facebook page is far from an invasion of privacy. As long as that girl lives under his roof, she has to play by his rules. I know I would have gotten my ass kicked had I done that at that age.

  3. Should parents have unfettered access to everything their kids share with their friends?

  4. Yes, if they so choose

  5. Should anyone under 18 shouldn’t expect any privacy in their lives where their parents are concerned?

  6. You basically asked the same question in a different way. If the kids are living under their parents’ roof I believe the parents should be able to set the privacy settings of their kids as they so choose. That being said I think it’s healthy for children to have privacy in areas where they have shown they can handle it responsibly. I’m not saying that every parent should remove the door of their teenage daughter’s bedroom, but the option is certainly there if they get out of line.

  7. In the case of Tommy Jordan, the girl did something she was told not to do, and there were consequences. Me being the tight-wad that I am, I probably wouldn’t have put bullets through a $1500 laptop, I would have just taken it away from her for a long time, as well as taken some additional disciplinary action.

  8. I don’t see how it’s at all healthy to deny any person some level of privacy without a damn good reason. It doesn’t look like Jordan had a good reason whereas he was just snooping and happened to come up with something.

    I really find his destruction of the laptop so ironic. He stated in an interview that he wanted to teach his daughter the value of a dollar, yet then he goes and destroys value. He had no idea what he was doing.

  9. We’re not talking about “any person” here. We are talking about a father and his teenage daughter.
    First, it doesn’t matter what you and I think is a “damn good reason,” she lives under his roof, she plays by his rules.
    Second, I thought he had very damn good reason to be upset with his daughter. She was being an ungrateful brat. Her father has the right and obligation to put a stop to it.

    Do you think he should have just let that behavior continue for the sake of her privacy? What if she was whore-ing herself out on facebook, should dad have just ignored it?

    I think parents need to monitor their childrens’ activity on facebook the same way they monitor their activity in real life. The girl doesn’t get privacy if she uses it for dubious purposes.

  10. she lives under his roof, she plays by his rules.

    Why?

    Second, I thought he had very damn good reason to be upset with his daughter.

    He only knew what his daughter had written after he managed to sneak on to her private page.

    Do you think he should have just let that behavior continue for the sake of her privacy?

    This question assumes he knew of this behavior, thus implying that I think he should have ignored it. But what happened is different. He didn’t know that she had said anything.

    I think parents need to monitor their childrens’ activity on facebook the same way they monitor their activity in real life. The girl doesn’t get privacy if she uses it for dubious purposes.

    My high school girlfriend used to have to tell her step-father the name of every person she spoke with on AIM. That was reasonable, in part, because he told her what he expected and what he wanted to know. That’s different, I think, from hacking into a page due to one’s own insecurity.

  11. “Why”
    I’m sure she soon found out why when her laptop disappeared along with whatever additional disciplinary action was taken.

    “He only knew what his daughter had written after he managed to sneak on to her private page.”
    Sucks for her. I’m sure she’ll be less likely to do it in the future.

    “This question assumes he knew of this behavior, thus implying that I think he should have ignored it. But what happened is different. He didn’t know that she had said anything.”
    The fact that she was caught only proves my point that parents should monitor what their kids do online. Had he not gone onto her page he wouldn’t have been aware of her shitty behavior. Let’s also not forget that this was her second offense according to pops. She was already on his radar.

    I don’t see how this is any different than the situation with your high-school girlfriend. Do you think she would have talked shit about her parents on AIM if she knew they had access to it? The only difference is that Tommy Jordan’s daughter isn’t quite as bright as your girlfriend.

  12. Hank D, you are as much an ass as the guy who shot the computer.

    I think anyone who has a child encounters an ungrateful brat from time to time. There are ways to deal with that. This guy was over the top. When you have to stoop to the level of a child, to discipline a child, you have already lost the battle.

    Acting out in anger, making a big scene, does not set a good example.
    Defending this kind of childish behavior says a lot about Hank D.

  13. Shelldigger, name-calling aside, I don’t disagree that he may have been a little over the top. I would have just taken back the laptop and grounded the shit out of her, but that’s just me. The underlying issue we’ve been discussing is privacy and if her dad was wrong by going on to her facebook page.

  14. If a parent fosters a relationship that is based on open dialogue and trust, spying on your kids really isn’t necessary. Plus, if you actually talk to your kids, you get a sense of their well being, or lack of it. Also we as parents, are not going to know every little thing our kids say or do, nor do we need to, fact of life get over it. All you can do is, do your best to raise em up, and hope that what you have tried to teach them takes. I’ll also add that any behavior issues you haven’t worked out by time they are 15…its pretty much too late to fix. Kids, as we all do, will have to learn from their own mistakes.

    For the record, I would classify a rant on a social media site, a right we should all have. You can’t deny the right to have an opinion to a child, unless you want to do the same for yourself.

    The response this guy had to his child’s opinion, and the ensuing reply to to OP here, shows me a lot about the family dynamic in question. The asshole dad, has a problem that is probably of his own making. Jerks, rarely have the ability to see that in themselves…and spying on your kids is something that should be done in very small doses, and probably best to not them them know what you may know, at least until you have taken some time to think about how to handle the situation. If you do find out something about you kid by spying, or second hand info, it is probably best to handle it quietly, in a behind the scenes manner, and not overreact like this guy did, unless you want to drive a wedge the size of Texas between you and your kid.

    I don’t think a covert spying program is something parents should do, but there are times we get info here and there, that we stumble across, or someone tells us about. I guess how we handle that info will be evident throughout the Thanksgiving and x-mas dinners to come…

  15. “It’s his house, so she has to live by his rules”. I don’t think I’ve ever heard a more idiotic piece of tripe. Firstly, I don’t see what owning a home and providing food and shelter has to do with creating a just and fair environment for the people, or more specifically children (an important distinction), who live under your roof. That’s just a glaring non-sequitur. There are plenty of parents out there who wreak emotional havoc on their children while at the same time making sure they don’t starve or freeze to death. Secondly, children don’t choose their parents, so it’s not as if she made a choice to live in that house and now she has to live with the consequences. She’s perfectly innocent, and in this situation, perfectly embarrassed by an immature asshole.

  16. Shelldigger, I completely agree that parents should foster trusting relationships with their children and should be able to talk to them etc., however, at the end of the day it is the parents’ responsibility to raise decent human beings. You say that social media is a right we all should have, and I would agree if we are talking about society as a whole, but we’re talking specifically about a parent-child relationship here. We all should have the right to live without having a curfew, right? Does that mean parents shouldn’t give their children curfews? Of course not. Children generally aren’t mentally capable enough to making good decisions consistently, and therefore need good parenting to guide them. Good parenting includes disciplining when the kids get out of line. Trash-talking her parents to everyone she knows is absolutely unacceptable behavior in my book. She showed herself to be an unappreciative, spoiled brat. It seems like her parents were a little too lax from get-go. I agree they should have nipped this in the butt a lot sooner. Obviously, the girl is not responsible enough to have an unmonitored facebook page.

    Little Leo,
    I find your assertion that she is “perfectly innocent” to be laughable. Bottom line is that parents have authority over their children whether you like it or not. Yes, there are good parents and there are bad parents, and yes kids don’t get to choose their parents. That’s just the world we live in. I agree that kids should be raised in a fair environment, but the fairness has to work both ways. This girl’s behavior suggests she is not being very fair to her parents.

  17. Sigh… I should’ve typed “innocent in that regard” (as in, innocent in regards to her being born to parents that she did not choose). I figured you’d take it the wrong way since you have no logical counter to anything else that I said. Obviously she isn’t INNOCENT. She was acting like a little snot-nosed brat on Facebook. Everyone on this thread, including Mike, can admit that. The two points of his post, though, were 1. that her punishment didn’t even remotely fit the crime, and 2. that the way to counteract immature behavior in children is not to engage in even more immature behavior.

    It makes me sick to my stomach to think about the amount of emotional distress she must’ve felt as a high school girl whose dad lambasted her all over the internet for all of her friends, enemies, classmates, all of their parents, and pretty much anyone she may ever come in contact with to see. High school girls have it tough as it is trying to fit in and cope with all of the new emotions they’re feeling and all of the social pressure that’s put on them. This girl, though… best case scenario she’ll be talking it out with her therapist for years. Worst case scenario – stripper. Or hey, maybe porn star! With her new internet fame I’ll bet she’d make a lot of money, and perhaps even get some dark emotional satisfaction, looking at the camera and telling her dad to fuck off right before she sucks like 8 dicks. Either way, fuck her emotionally stunted piece of shit dad.

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