One of the things I like to do when one political party falls on its face is go to its primary outlets and see the freak-out. In 2008 that meant watching Sean Hannity explore every possible way the polls could be wrong. In 2010 that meant watching the sullen faces on MSNBC. And now in 2012, I am once again back to FOX and the like. Let’s take a look at “the like”, shall we?
I took a screen capture for what I called my favorite part of election night on Tuesday. It was a shot from a post by Jack Hudson predicting a “decisive” Romney win and I took it because, aside from the fact that he was so wrong, I know Jack well enough to know that it would needle him to not only be wrong, but to have his wrongness so overtly displayed. I didn’t expect him to respond to my post (nor did I care if he did), but I was really hoping someone would say something. I mean, the reaction would have to be priceless, wouldn’t it? Answer: Yes.
As it turns out, the person who said something was Mike and, as always, he kept it succinct and entertaining:
So Romney lost pretty soundly, there were several victories for marriage equality, Todd Akin got trounced, a couple states passed laws legalizing weed, and we’ve elected our first openly gay senator.
Oh well. The Lord works in mysterious ways that are indistinguishable from non-existence.
This post was 44 words long. Now look at Jack’s:
I did say I wasn’t a prognosticator.
But I appreciate your magnanimity Mike. :) I think it gives us a pretty good indication that the next four years will go pretty much like the last four years with regard to political dialogue (as well as everything else).
The irony is that it’s no skin off my nose. I have done quite well the last four years and actually stand to benefit from Obama’s reelection oddly enough. And I am old enough where all the entitlements you will be paying for will probably be available to me the remainder of my life. So I and my family are going to do fine because I have planned and provided for a variety of possible events. Others will pay for the debt which grows by the second, and I can guarantee it won’t be ‘the 1%’ who have the means to escape the pickpockets.
And while I prefer that things get better for everyone, I also know that some people (perhaps an increasing number these days) only learn when a bat is applied to the side of their collective heads, metaphorically speaking. As we start off on day one with the stock market dropping over 300pts, the country facing a fiscal cliff and absolutely no indication anything will improve or go ‘forward’ it isn’t going to be me facing regrets. I am old enough remember this all being done before, folks wading through the malaise, poverty, and violence of the seventies which followed the last attempts to remake our society according to secularist ideologies. It simply proved to that generation how bereft such ideologies are of any meaningful solutions. Of course they knew enough not to re-elect Jimmy Carter. This generation of useful idiots come along worshiping their political leader, who is supposed to move them ‘forward’ to some imagined panacea and they end up where large swaths of Europe are today.
So enjoy it while you can, you are going to be paying for it for a long time.
336 words, or over 7.5 times longer.
Oh, the butt-hurt.
Let me interpret:
Your political discourse is liberal and I sneer at it.
By the way, you fucking liberal, my bank account is almost as fat as I am. Are you impressed? You should be. I mean. I’m pretty fat. Oh, and I’m old. God damn it, I’m so old! Fortunately, despite my impending death (which is being rushed by my fatness), I will benefit from all the entitlements that I don’t think any should get. Na-na na-boo-boo! Don’t you wish you were part of the upper class? We don’t have to pickpocket people (because the government has been doing it in our favor since Reagan). But again, I wish you would raise the level of political discourse, you idiot.
Now, I know I just spent all that time bragging about how my fat bank account lets me buy all the fat guy clothes and fat guy food I could ever want, but I care about the little guy. I really do. Also, I think he is an idiot and I wish he would get smacked with a bat. Metaphorically. (Maybe.) Look, the election was well over 24 hours ago and the stock market had a bad day. That has to be that black fella’s fault. (He gets no credit for the stock market being near record highs, by the way. Don’t be an idiot, you 47%er.) But again, I’m so fucking old, so that makes my opinion way more valuable than yours. And I’ve seen this before. It’s like the 70’s when Jimmy Carter was elected to office once. Just like Barack Obama. WE’RE BECOMING EUROPE! Forget that our growth is going in the right direction, outpacing much of Europe, and we haven’t implemented austerity measures as the Republicans want. I DON’T LIKE FACTS! You idiot socialist, Nazi, communist.
So in closing, I’m really butt-hurt, but I want to make myself feel good by telling you just how awful your life is going to be. Also, bald eagles, Real America, Karl Rove, Ronald Reagan, the Founding Fathers, Christian nation, abortion is murder, gays lead to bestiality, and wah, wah, wah, wah, wah.
Filed under: Humor | Tagged: hilarious, Jack Hudson | Leave a comment »
For the Sake of Science 