My favorite Charlie Sheen quotes

These past couple of days have been magnificently entertaining to me.

I am on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen. It’s not available. If you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded bodies.


I’m not fair game. I’m not a soft target. It’s over. There’s a new sheriff in town and he has an army of assassins.


Look what I’m dealing with, man. I’m dealing with fools and trolls.

He must have been blogging when he said that last one.

They lay down with their ugly wives and their ugly children and their loser lives and they look me and say, “I can’t process it!” Well, no, you never will. Just stop trying. Sit back and enjoy the show.

And my all time favorite…

I have one speed. I have one gear: GO.