Irene could bring Internet outages

It could be awful:

As Hurricane Irene prepared to batter the East Coast of the United States, federal disaster officials warned that Internet outages caused by the storm could force people to interact with other people for the first time in years.

News of the possible interpersonal interactions created panic up and down the coast as residents braced themselves for the horror of awkward silences and unwanted eye contact.

FEMA officials are advising people to write down topics ahead of time, but I don’t know if that will be enough. We may need to look at some alternatives:

In a related story, the Rev. Pat Robertson said the best way to prepare for Hurricane Irene is not being gay.