Irene could bring Internet outages

It could be awful:

As Hurricane Irene prepared to batter the East Coast of the United States, federal disaster officials warned that Internet outages caused by the storm could force people to interact with other people for the first time in years.

News of the possible interpersonal interactions created panic up and down the coast as residents braced themselves for the horror of awkward silences and unwanted eye contact.

FEMA officials are advising people to write down topics ahead of time, but I don’t know if that will be enough. We may need to look at some alternatives:

In a related story, the Rev. Pat Robertson said the best way to prepare for Hurricane Irene is not being gay.


7 Responses


  2. Will there still be pizza and Chinese food delivery? Or must we actually go out to get food?

  3. I was at home depot earlier today (building a shed next week, gathering supplies) and I noticed all of these tables covered in things that everyone should already have.

    I mean really. I think I own 30 flashlights, 5 kerosene lanterns, a large supply of bottled water already, several old radios in perfectly serviceable condition and so on.

    I just don’t get what happens to this stuff between storms in other peoples homes.

  4. 30 flashlights? Light up a concert stage.

  5. The man raises a good point, Nate.

  6. Apparently Robertson wasn’t able to pray this hurricane away. The guy sure is slacking.

  7. I seem to keep collecting them. I’m not sure where they all came from, but I have a drawer full.

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