I even said Nissan

I’m not a car guy by any means. I don’t know much about the machines other than that the bigger the aptly named spoiler, the bigger the toolbag behind the wheel.

That said, I am at least aware of what’s considered decent. That’s why when I went to get my car rental on my past Vegas/Utah vacation and the Hertz guy gave me three options, I went with what I thought was a Nissan Altima. When my friend asked what kind of car an Altima was, I even said “Nissan.” But I apparently misheard and I guess the Hertz guy didn’t hear me because when I got out to the parking garage, I was dismayed to find this:

Again, I’m not a car guy. Not by any means. But I don’t say this from expert knowledge; it’s experience: the Kia Optima is a sissy piece of crap.