Silly atheist, celebrations are for religions

Oh no! Christmas is coming upon us! Me, but a lowly atheist, what am I to do?

As is well-known fact, all atheists are merely “jealous of the Yuletide season”. Isn’t it obvious? We have no Jesus. We have no God. We have no cause to celebrate anything!

So what am I suppose to do this Friday? Sure, I’ve bought presents. My brother, who I hope isn’t a regular reader at the moment, will probably be pretty psyched about his Super Nintendo (complete with Super Mario Kart). And yeah, the rest of my family will be happy to receive their gifts. And yes! I know! All my second cousins, many yet to hit double-digits in age, will glow with joy while A Christmas Story plays in the background during their present opening. And gosh darn it! It’s no secret my aunt and uncle and cousins and (older) second cousins and great aunt and great uncle and parents and brother and grandmother will all be so happy to be together to catch up and remember and reacquaint and even just see each other even though some may have seen each other just the week before. (Deep breath after that one.) But so what? There’s no Jebus!

I mean, honestly. How could I ever derive a cause to celebrate out of all that? I have no deity to worship. I have no stranger-filled church to attend. Where o where might I find reason to do anything this December 25th?

8 Responses

  1. Christmas isn’t about religion, silly! It’s about sparkly lights, time with family, cheesy music, overspending, and gorging yourself on high calorie foods. Hmmm…come to think about it, it sounds more as if it’s more about worshiping our modern society than anything else. What’s worse? Worshiping old fables and myths, or worshiping gluttony and overspending? Sigh….it’s best to just roll with it and not think about it too much. Merry Christmas! :-)

  2. Michael, Christians are a generous lot, especially when it comes to celebrating the birth of Christ; we would never deny your enjoyment of our holiday. Many blessings to you on Christmas with your family, and safe travels.

  3. Christians are a generous lot, especially when it comes to celebrating the birth of Christ; we would never deny your enjoyment of our holiday.

    Thank you, master! We’s ever so thankful!

    Yeesh. Jack, Christians are no more generous than anyone else. Christmas was created to supplant pagan solstice celebrations like Saturnalia and the birth of Mithras (sound familar?). Got a tree? Not only does the bible specifically forbid that, it is of purely pagan origin. In the same manner that Christianity co-opted previous celebrations, we are secularizing it and taking it for our own. And, guess what? WE DON’T NEED YOUR PERMISSION!

    Besides…. What am I going to do? Go to work on a paid day off? I’m not crazy.

  4. Thank you, master! We’s ever so thankful!

    Yeesh. Jack, Christians are no more generous than anyone else. Christmas was created to supplant pagan solstice celebrations like Saturnalia and the birth of Mithras (sound familar?). Got a tree? Not only does the bible specifically forbid that, it is of purely pagan origin. In the same manner that Christianity co-opted previous celebrations, we are secularizing it and taking it for our own. And, guess what? WE DON’T NEED YOUR PERMISSION!

    Besides…. What am I going to do? Go to work on a paid day off? I’m not crazy.

    Wow, you folks are a little defensive; lighten up I wasn’t granting you ‘permission’, I was just countering the notion that somehow Christians would deny atheists the enjoyment of the season – of course they don’t, they love to have atheists join in.

    That is why they redeeemed the old pagan traditions and re-invented them in the service of Christ. Joyous Noel!

  5. Which is why we secularized Christmas by removing the religious detritus.

    Merry Christmas!

  6. Which is why we secularized Christmas by removing the religious detritus.

    Merry Christmas!

    Good luck with that Mr. Potter. :)

  7. Sorry dude. It’s a fait accompli. Society has already done it. Go to any mall. Well, at least it’s that way in Canada. And there’s nothing remotely religious in our home. Just presents. No luck (or permission) required.

    But you were definitely being falsely generous giving permission for something you have no right to give permission for. Christians made the solstice their holiday just as we secularists are doing the same.

  8. The point I was countering was that atheists have nothing to celebrate because Christmas is centered around Christianity. There’s more to it than that.

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