Important Halloween note

If you will be giving out candy this year, okay, yes, all the kids have come to accept that everything will be “fun size”. But let’s not give out crappy candy, okay? That pretty much means you need to exclusively be giving out this:

And please keep the Almond Joy to yourself, okay? Look, I’ve grown to actually like it on the rare occasion I have it, but that’s because I’m not 8. No kid likes coconut. That’s just a fact.