For the Sake of Science

Religious-based violence has exploded in Nigeria again, no surprise there.

The rioting began Sunday after Muslim youths set a Catholic church ablaze. Witnesses said rioters armed with knives, homemade firearms and stones attacked passers-by and fought with security forces, leaving bodies in the street and stacked in local mosques.

The Minister of Police Affairs, Ibrahim Yakubu Lame, issued a statement Tuesday blaming the violence on “some highly placed individuals in the society who were exploiting the ignorance and poverty of the people to cause mayhem in the name of religion.”

Religion does really help in exploiting ignorance, but since it’s also a source of it, it’s hard too separate the two so distinctly. And why is Lame suggesting religion is not the cause of this violence? Does he believe that if religion were removed, the exact same thing would be happening. If so, why?

The way I see it, there are two ways to fix this. The first is that we could all wire about $4995 to a bank account we’ve been told is set up through Nigeria, even though it is based in Atlanta. This has the magical property of then getting to us far more cash that we’ve been selected to win as a result of, I don’t know, being awesome. We then use our new-found wealth to promote religious activity in the country because clearly that’s the only thing they’ve got going for them. This entire strategy has the added benefit of being based upon all true things. Especially the magic part.

Alternatively – and this one’s really a kicker – get rid of religion entirely because there would then be far less reason for violence.

Filed under: News, Religions | Tagged: Ibrahim Yakubu Lame, Nigeria | 14 Comments »