Another reason to not eat at Chick-Fil-A

Chick-Fil-A seems to like to get in the news for shitty reasons. First it was their promotion of bigotry. People got wind of it and the company backed off, at least nominally. (They’re still conservative Christians, so they’re still bigots. Just less active ones.) Now they apparently want to write the plot to the next made-for-TV movie:

After applying for a federal trademark for the Eat More Kale logo, hoping to block other artists from copying his design, [the Vermont business] Eat More Kale received a letter from Chick-Fil-A threatening to block Eat More Kale’s trademark application [because Chick-Fil-A’s slogan is “Eat Mor Chiken”]. Chick-Fil-A claims that the “Eat More” combination will confuse its customers and dilute its brand. And it wants the small Vermont business to stop.

This is patently absurd. Nobody is going to confuse shitty chicken and exceptionally shitty fries for a shitty vegetable. Yeah, it all tastes awful – more so on the part of Chick-Fil-A – but they are two entirely different products. This is a case of a big corporation being a bully because it has the money to do so. I can’t wait to see the movie on ABC Family.

But that isn’t the worst part in all this. The worst part is that people actually eat at Chick-Fil-A. How dreadful. Seriously. And it isn’t that I don’t like them for their Christianity. If I refused to eat or shop at every place run by Christians, I’d have to become a very self-reliant farmer very quickly. And it isn’t that I object to the company’s contribution to obesity. I mean, I do have that objection, but that isn’t why this is awful. After all, McDonald’s is the biggest contributor in the nation, but that doesn’t mean a Big Mac isn’t frickin’ delicious. No, the basis for why I think it’s terrible that people actually eat there is just how bad it is. I mean, first of all, waffle fries are an abomination. There’s no reason for them to exist. Anywhere. Ever. What’s worse, Chick-Fil-A does an especially shitty job with theirs. Second, it’s dry. Every. Single. Thing. They. Sell. Unlike Nate’s mother, it is all dry. I’m pretty sure I suffered dehydration after buying a soda there once.

So let’s not stop supporting Chick-Fil-A because of its hatred of gays or its frivolous lawsuits. Let’s stop supporting it because it’s so god damned awful.

9 Responses

  1. I have never even set foot into a Chick-Fil-A and never will due to it being a fast food place and it having a stupid name.

    Michael, you are wrong about McD burgers. They are not delicious, being 50% fat, grease and who knows what else.

    I haven’t eaten in any fast food ‘restaurant’ in many years. The closest I get is Applebee’s or Chili’s. I also go to Dunkin Donuts for the coffee.

  2. Actually, if you can find a decent Mexican restaurant, you can get fresh food there for what you’d pay at McD’s or Arby’s, especially during the lunch specials hours.

    BTW, it’s “goddamned awful,” not “god damn awful.” “Damn” is a verb, and if you want to adjectivize it, you want a participle form, thus the -ed ending. Pet peeve of mine. (“The Power of Positive Cursing,” an idea from a very old _Shoe_ comic.)


  3. Try Portuguese kale soup and you’ll change your mind!

  4. Non of these places contribute to obesity, people do that to themselves. What else do people get a pass on when it comes to personal responsibility?

  5. Oh, look, an obtuse, inane, irrelevant comment from Nate who is now trying to color it with libertarian bullshit. WTF does that have to do with them trying to block someone else from using “Eat more kale”?????

    Time to unsubscribe from here. The thread is now putrid.

  6. It may be time for you to enter a retirement home where responsible adults can look after your needs and change your depends Bob.

  7. There is also the fact that the very poor, who have some of the highest obesity rates are not the main eaters at fast food places, but I wouldn’t expect facts to enter into what must be very interesting conversations in your head, Bob.

  8. 1) They do have a stupid name.

    2) The tastiness of food is not diminished by the fact that it is unhealthy.

    3) I went back and forth between “god damn” and “god damned”. My waffling turned out as bad as Chick-Fil-A’s waffle fries.

    4) Yes, yes. Libertarian blah blah blah. Everybody does everything themselves and nothing influences anything because all things are equivalent.

  9. Unless they are force feeding people stuff than the only ones to blame are those who choose to eat it, plain and simple, no libertarian anything about it. Really. No kidding.

    Haven’t you, yourself said that there is nothing really wrong with “unhealthy” foods so long as they are eaten in moderation? If you still think such things than I don’t see how any fast food place contributes to obesity. By your own reasoning people eating too much crap are at fault, not the place deep frying chicken.

    I just don’t buy it when people go and blame fast food places for the results of other people being stupid and eating nothing but. It’s tiresome and silly.

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