Another important Halloween note

Last year I noted that Twix is awesome and kids hate coconut. This year I want to expand my advice to the candy-givers out there:

  • No apples. This is not candy. I hope your house gets egged.
  • No pennies. In addition to not being candy, all this tells me is that you’re cheap.
  • No quarters. You’re still a cheap, non-candy giver.
  • No dog bones. I know this is a weird one, but I actually got this once.
  • If you leave out a bunch of bags of candy with a note saying “TAKE ONE”, you should expect one child to TAKE ALL. That’s what you get for being lazy.

And finally, for the parents: Stop making your kids wear jackets. I know it’s probably cold out there, but 1) the common cold does not actually come from being cold and 2) your kids have the best costumes, like, EVER! Let them show off their awesomeness for one night.

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5 Responses

  1. Exposure to cold does weaken your immune system though, I’m still with you though, no coats.

    Dog bones? Really? I think that would require deadly force in response.

  2. Cold weakening the immune system is one hypothesis, but solid evidence is not present for it.

  3. I wasn’t trying to say that is a factor in getting colds, just that it does weaken the thing.

  4. Okay, quarters might be a bit cheap today, though when I did this in the 80’s I got no complaints.

    How about Sacagawea dollars? Would you be happy with that? ;)

    (But if you have 50 kids visiting, you’re out $50.)

  5. I would accept complete proof sets of state quarters, but nothing less.

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